Common Sense – R.I.P.
An Obituary printed in the London Times -
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old she was, since her birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. She will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as these:-
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn’t always fair; and
- Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
Her health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, which only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense nearly lost the will to live as the churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense was a rip-off for a city’s collection of parking fines and towing companies when a ticket was made out and the towing company was called to remove a scooter that was illegally parked by 10 inches.
Common Sense finally did give up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by her parents, Truth and Trust; by her husband, Discretion; by her daughter, Responsibility; and by her son, Reason. She is survived by her 4 stepbrothers:-
- I Know My Rights;
- I Want It Now;
- Someone Else Is To Blame; and
- I’m A Victim
Not many attended her funeral because so few realized she was gone. If you still remember her, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
This message is generated from the Network Cornwall site.
Contributed by Lynn Leavy